don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
