I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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