mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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