Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
