people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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