The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize