For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
