How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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