she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
