Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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