Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have demons in me.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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