so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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