CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Let's paint friendship bongs
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
