I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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