put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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