And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
