RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
