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• (812): View more from Indiana

  he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.

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• (646): View more from New York

  Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.

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• (212): View more from New York

  You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.

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• (760): View more from California

  You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.

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• (914): View more from New York

  i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.

  (631): View more from New York

  whose this? and thank you

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