do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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