Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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