If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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