Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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