We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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