You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
