Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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