I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize