She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The power of my boobs compel you
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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