Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
