I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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