Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
