i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We need to get me chipped asap
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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