i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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