do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
