better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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