Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
