You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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