I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Randomize
