didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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