Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
