ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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