I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
