You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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