They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
