Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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