It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
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Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
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She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem