also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
