So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
