she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
