at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
