Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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