WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
