we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
