My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
