you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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