I need help removing her.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
