i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
