I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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