The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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