Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
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All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
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this hospital has no fireball
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Floor bacon is actually really good
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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