ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
