So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
