There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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