Your face is a jimmy john
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
