Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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