dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
