I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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