is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
