i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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