one two three fourrrrnication!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
