Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
