so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
