The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
